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Glory,
Jest,
Riddle
Glory
is
one
of
those
words
it’s
hard
to
find
a
use
for
anymore.
It’s
like
‘hero’.
I’m
not
suggesting
the
word
hero
should
be
kept
only
for
sword-wavers
like
Ajax
and
Achilles.
All
I
mean
is
that
a
discriminatory
scale
is
required
if
words
like
this
are
to
have
their
proper
effect.
Ever
since
hyperbolism
became
endemic,
with
mediapersons
unable
to
speak
two
sentences
without
four
fantastics,
our
higher
encomia
have
become
meaningless.
In
cricket
an
average
batsman’s
stroke
is
always
magnificent.
In
daily
life
everything
from
a
full
moon
to
a
bar
of
soap
is
fabulous.
And
a
policeman
just
doing
his
duty
is
a
hero.
Though
what
has
happened
to
‘glory’
is
worse
than
that.
It
always
implied
honorable
pre-eminence
of
some
kind.
But
today
we
live
in
the
age
of
Jerry
Springer:
our
times
being
inglorious,
any
sort
of
distinction
will
do—as
the
irresistible
rise
of
Dr
Kakatoscopy
shows.
Her
solemn
scatologizing
may
well
give
the
University
of
Queensland
a
degree
of
prominence;
the
Centre
for
the
History
of
European
Discourses
will
now
enjoy
a
raised
if
rather
seamy
profile;
and
at
a
time
when
no-one
can
tell
the
difference
between
notoriety
and
genuine
scholarly
achievement,
the
dim
refulgence
of
an
exercise
in
academic
bum-wiping
will
quite
possibly
bestow
glory
on
her
institution…
of
a
kind.
* * *
Which
brings
us
to
the
word
‘jest’.
And
with
the
University
of
Queensland
the
jest
is
at
the
expense
of
the
taxpayer.
There
are
still
people
alive
who
remember
when
humanities
departments
were
concerned
with
higher
thought—not
nether
regions.
I
am
reliably
informed
that
some
Vice-Chancellors
remember
those
days
too.
Fifty
years
ago,
as
a
student,
I
heard
professors
of
modern
languages
who
were
not
only
memorable
lecturers,
they
were
so
theatrically
gifted,
so
sure
in
their
grasp
of
their
material
and
so
culturally
well-rounded,
that
the
campus
productions
of
Molière
and
Beaumarchais
they
staged
were
almost
of
professional
standard.
And
the
joke
is
that
today
large
numbers
of
otherwise
sensible
mums
and
dads
think
nothing
has
changed.
They
imagine
that
just
because
the
names
of
humanities
departments
still
sound
much
the
same—English,
French,
Modern
Languages
or
whatever—that
the
staff
in
these
departments
are
still
teaching
what
they
used
to
teach;
and
they
happily
send
their
children
to
such
places
for
what
is
still
called
higher
education.
Yet
in
some
cases
little
is
left
but
the
hollow
shell
of
a
once
distinguished
institution,
an
Arts
Faculty
in
name
only,
with
whole
departments
full
of
gabbling
mountebanks.
They
are
supposedly
teaching
the
humanities.
More
often,
in
the
aftermath
of
postmodernism,
they
give
courses
in
prestigitation
and
necromancy.
Like
the
criminal
classes
they
have
invented
an
argot
that
keeps
their
true
activities
obscure.
Like
the
criminal
classes
they
will
continue
these
activities,
however
intellectually
corrupt,
until
they
are
forcibly
stopped.
And
like
everyone
else
who
is
up
to
no
good
they
prefer
to
be
left
alone.
All
this
is
obvious:
how
does
the
world
not
know?
But
if
you
think
the
top
international
universities
have
been
spared,
read
“The
Truth
About
Harvard”
in
the
March
2005
Atlantic
Monthly.
* * *
The
three
words
of
our
title
are
Alexander
Pope’s.
In
his
Essay
on
Man
they
refer
to
humanity’s
gift
for
mixing
the
absurd,
the
wicked,
the
virtuous,
and
the
sublime.
That
is
what
Pope
meant
when
he
wrote
of
the
‘riddle’
of
mankind.
And
for
a
three-dimensional
flesh
and
blood
illustration
we
might
turn
to
the
India
of
the
Maharaja
and
his
wife.
Winston
Churchill
seems
to
have
regarded
Russia
as
uniquely
enigmatic;
but
to
my
mind
the
true
enigma
is
the
Indian
subcontinent—largely
because
it
combines
the
infinitely
old
and
the
utterly
new
side
by
side,
a
contrast
producing
contradictions
difficult
to
comprehend.
Born
to
great
wealth
and
unchallenged
privilege,
master
of
countless
peasants
in
numerous
towns,
educated
at
Oxford,
the
Maharaja
remained
a
boor
in
his
own
house,
adopting
an
unpardonable
tone
toward
helpless,
wretched
servants,
who
shrank
against
the
wall
as
he
spoke,
and
who
would
probably
have
been
lucky
to
receive
a
handful
of
rupees
each
day.
While
this
is
puzzling,
perhaps
it’s
no
more
than
that.
Brutes
of
exalted
background
are
a
dime
a
dozen.
The
Maharani
on
the
other
hand
was
a
genuine
riddle
of
the
kind
that
might
have
intrigued
Alexander
Pope.
One
half
of
her
was
sensible,
humane,
cultivated,
modern
and
rational.
Engaging
to
talk
to,
she
performed
her
aristocratic
role
in
local
life
impeccably,
and
though
not
without
an
appropriate
hauteur,
she
was
always
perfectly
civil.
I
remember
in
particular
a
draper
spreading
bolts
of
cloth
over
a
large
living
room
floor,
a
man
who
squatted
deferentially
before
her
as
she
expertly
fingered
fabrics
of
green
and
gold,
questioned
him
about
prices,
and
discreetly
concluded
a
deal.
But
that
calm
and
practical
woman
was
only
her
visible
side.
The
secular,
domestic
persona,
as
it
were.
She
had
also
a
spiritual
side
too,
spending
long
hours
alone
at
puja
in
a
darkened
shrine,
chanting
before
incarnations
of
Vishnu,
the
darkness
lit
dimly
with
candles
and
tapers
and
incense
sticks.
When
questioned
on
religious
matters
she
said
she
might
end
her
life
as
a
sati,
and
commit
herself
to
fiery
self-immolation.
How
serious
was
this?
Hard
to
say,
though
every
now
and
then
we
still
read
of
some
pious
woman
suiciding
on
a
Hindu
pyre.
It
is
difficult
for
a
modern
mind
to
grasp
such
an
event…
The
living
flesh
in
flames—the
body
fats
igniting
and
blazing
up;
pain
beyond
belief;
agony
unimaginable—in
order
to
achieve
sainthood.
In
his
‘Proem’
to
his
Essay
on
Man
Pope
speaks
of
the
human
spectacle
as
a
mighty
maze—yet
not
without
a
plan.
With
the
act
of
sati,
it
is
the
plan
that
puzzles
rather
than
the
maze.
But
it’s
time
to
let
Pope
speak
for
himself:
Know
then
thyself,
presume
not
God
to
scan,
The
proper
study
of
Mankind
is
Man.
Placed
on
this
isthmus
of
a
middle
state,
A
Being
darkly
wise,
and
rudely
great:
With
too
much
knowledge
for
the
Sceptic
side,
With
too
much
weakness
for
the
Stoic’s
pride,
He
hangs
between;
in
doubt
to
act,
or
rest;
In
doubt
his
Mind
or
Body
to
prefer;
Born
but
to
die,
and
reasoning
but
to
err;
Alike
in
ignorance,
his
reason
such,
Whether
he
thinks
too
little,
or
too
much:
Chaos
of
Thought
and
Passion,
all
confused;
Still
by
himself
abused,
or
disabused;
Created
half
to
rise,
and
half
to
fall;
Great
Lord
of
all
things,
yet
a
prey
to
all;
Sole
judge
of
Truth,
in
endless
Error
hurled:
The
glory,
jest,
and
riddle
of
the
world!
May 2005
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